Retail Therpy
by LavenderRare
Summary: I normally work alone. I liked it that way. But, lucky me, I've got to teach a new employee how to do this job. Rated T for darker, heavier themes later on.
1. Chapter 1: The New Employee

It started as another day at my job. The store I work in doesn't matter, retail is retail. It was in 2003, I was 19, working as a cashier. I usually work alone, it makes me feel better. Other people make me extremely anxious.

Then it changed.

My manager brought a new employee to me. "Lavender, can you show our new associate around?"

I look at the new employee. He seemed a few years older than me, not too old. He looked like a normal, tall man, except for a few things.

For one, he seemed to have dyed his hair blue. it wasn't too weird for me, I'm always coloring my hair different colors.

Then I saw his smile. His two front teeth were missing. Must not have a good dentist, even though the rest of his teeth seem decent.

Then I saw his eyes. They...were all black. I couldn't help but stare at his eyes.

"Lavender!"

I snapped out of it after my manager called my name.

"I thought you'd be a good choice to mentor Stuart, being one of our better employees. Also, yoou really need to work with other people."

I nodded slowly.

"Good. I'll check in on you two in an hour."

We stood there after the manager left. We just awkwardly looked at each other.

He was the first to speak.

"I like yer hair."

He had such an adorable voice for an older guy.

I quietly said, "thanks."

Silence again.

"So..." he said.

I looked up. "Right, let me show you around my department."

I worked in the home department. I mostly had to fold towels, straighten pillows, and count candles. I awkwardly taught Stuart how we fold towels for display. He fumbled a bit. I guess he wasn't used to folding.

"Here, watch again, slowly."

I folded the towel in half short-ways, then in half short-ways again, then folded it long-ways. It took a few more attempts, but he got the hang of it.

Afterwards, I taught him how to use the cash register.

"Oh, I've used one of these befo'!" he said.

I nodded my head, "really?"

"Yeah!" Stuart said. "I used ta work in an organ shop. When I was a teenager."

'When I was a teenager'. The guy's old enough to use that phrase without people questioning their age.

"Ok..." I said, "...how about a refresher?"

Stuart went from being slightly chipper back to his awkward self. "Ok," he said.

I opened the cash drawer and showed him how the coins and bills were organized. I was guessing he was British due to his heavy accent, so I taught him how the American Dollar worked.

I have no idea whether or not he understood.

After showing him everything I could think of, we were just standing across from each other, just staring. I was not in the mood for small talk, and he seems a little too dim-witted to start a deep conversation, himself. He just rubbed his neck, probably waiting for my next move.

It sort of turned into a little game. Whoever grew tired first and left their spot would lose. I refused to lose, same with Stuart. Thankfully, nobody wanted to buy candles or curtains today.

But the game had to end after Stuart clutched his head in pain. I slowly stepped forward. "Are...you okay?"

"Me 'ead!" he cried out. "Where are me pills!"

"We're not allowed to have pills on the floor."

"I need me painkillers!"

I sighed. "I'll call the manager."

Stuart ended up leaving early. Finally, I was alone again. But he'll probably be back tomorrow. And, lucky me, I'm stuck with him shadowing my every movement.


	2. Chapter 2: Getting to Know You

I've started getting used to having Stuart around. He started a month ago, and here he is now, able to handle the register by himself.

I took over folding and straightening, he still needed practice. Plus, I like being up and about.

Stuart expertly closed down the register at 9PM, then turned to me.

"Hey, how was it today?" I asked.

He shrugged, "as slow as it normally is. You?"

"After those kids knocked down everything, I thought I'd NEVER get this cleaned up!"

Awkward silence.

"I was actually wondering, are yew busy tonight?"

Uh..." I responded. Is he asking me on a date? I don't know him that well!

"I'm not asking yew out, love. I was jus' wondering if we can hang at my place for a bit."

"Oh. Uh, okay."

I never really hung out at other people's homes. I was never invited to parties, and I planned to keep it that way. But I think Stuart has the same struggle I do, with social anxiety. Maybe having just one friend who I can relate to won't be so bad.

"Sure, why not?"

After we both clocked out, Stuart drove me to a rental house. He wasn't the best driver, I took note. Maybe he was used to others driving for him.

He parked the car, then got out and waited for me.

"It's jus' a rental, but it feels a bit like home to me." he explained as he opened the house's door for me.

That's when I questioned his upbringing in my mind.

The place was a mess! There were dishes, takeout and pizza boxes, clothes, and paper scattered everywhere.

"Sorry 'bout the mess," he said after he noticed my shocked look, "I'm not the neatest person ever."

I shook me head, "oh no, it's not that bad, Stuart."

"2D"

I looked at him. "Huh?"

"My name is 2D. My bandmate gave me that name."

"Bandmate?"

2D made his way to the couch, me following close behind. He lifted up a poster that said "Gorillaz", and had some interesting people on it.

"That's the band I'm in," he said, "I play the pianos and I sing, too." He pointed to a cute little girl on the poster. "That there is Noodle. She was only ten when we took this picture. She plays the guitar wicked good!" Then he pointed to a man with white eyes. "That's Russel, he's our drummer. He's American, like yew are. He's also got a ghost rapper in his head." Then he pointed to the last man on the poster. "An' that's Murdoc, the bassist. He organized the band, and gave me my nickname."

"What does 2D stand for?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Two dents," he said, pointing to his eyes. "Murdoc hit me with his car twice, and that's how me eyes got this way."

I gasped, "that's horrible!"

"I fink it looks cool," 2D said proudly.

"Okay, so what about your hair? Why did you dye it?"

"Oh, it ain't dyed," he responded.

I was confused. So, he has naturally blue hair?

"Lemme explain," he said. "So I was around the same age Noodle is now, maybe a little younger, when I decided to climb this one tree. I loved climbing trees, still do. Anyway, I fell out of the tree, and me folks told me all of me brown hair fell out and grew back blue."

I giggled a little bit. It was kinda funny, despite him hurting his head.

He put his poster away. "So I shared my story, L. What's yours?"

"L?" I asked.

"Yer name started with L. I thought you'd like a cool nickname like I have."

I smiled. He was kinda adorable in a dorky sort of way.

"Well, I didn't come from a big city like we're in, now," I started. "I came from a smaller one, a city where everyone knew everyone. I used to be a little kid who wanted friends and attention. So when a group of girls took me under their wing, I was happy. That was until they started using me. They had me do all their homework for them, made me wear clothes I didn't like, and would pick on me all the time. Whenever they got in trouble, they blamed me, and I'd get detention for doing absolutely nothing.

"After I cut ties with those girls, I told myself I would never be restrained by anyone ever again. So, I don't have many friends, or any that I can think of off the top of my head."

2D put a hand on my shoulder. I flinched a little bit, not expecting this move.

"If yew want, I can be yer one friend," he offered.

I sighed, "how do I know you won't betray me?"

2D thought for a moment. "I..."

"See? I can't trust people instantly."

"Yew trusted me with the register."

I looked at him. "That's because I've been observing you for a month."

"And in that month, did I ever act like those girls?"

I shook my head, "no..."

"That's how you can trust me."

I smiled a little bit. "I'll give friendship a try, I guess."

The rest of the night consisted of eating pizza we ordered online, then watching campy horror movies. 2D drove me back to my place. Before he left, he asked, "can I give yew me number? So we can chat whenever you want."

I shrugged, "okay, sure."

He wrote it down on a piece of paper, and handed it to me. After I put the paper in my pocket, he waved goodbye, then swerved down the street.

Looks like I'm not going to be a loner for a while.


	3. Chapter 3: An Emergency

I was awoken buy the sound of Fur Elise playing on my phone.

The robotic sound the phone gave off was nothing like the classic that's played on the piano, but it's better than having some strange bloopy tune you don't recognize.

Before picking up, I checked the alarm clock. 3:04 AM.

I checked the caller ID. 2D, of course.

"This better be important," I grumbled into the phone, "we have a long shift today."

"Err, I'm havin' a bit o' a problem, L."

"What is it, this time?"

I could hear him shudder. "There are pickles in me fridge."

I sighed. "And this is a problem because?"

"I'm allergic."

Of course he's allergic to pickles.

"If they're in a jar, you can safely remove them."

"Bu' there may be juice on the jar."

"Then wear gloves."

"I don' have gloves."

"Not even oven gloves? How do you cook?"

"I...uh...don' know how ta cook."

This guy was a piece of work.

I sighed again. "Okay, I'm coming over."

I didn't care whether or not I was in my pajamas. Heck, I didn't even straighten my bedhead out or put makeup on. I just sleepily slipped on my moccasins, grabbed my helmet and my motorbike's keys, and walked outside.

It was a cloudy night. And cold. But that's what November normally is. Cold.

I straddled onto my motorbike and started it up.

I remember where 2D's rental was, he always kept reminding me where it is.

And this wasn't the first of his "emergencies".

A few weeks ago, he got a splinter in one of his toes. Another time, he saw a roach, and was too scared to kill it. Heck, one time, he called me just because he was out of cigarettes and didn't have enough money to buy a pack.

I really must be his only friend around; I don't see him bugging anyone else with this stuff.

I parked the bike behind his car, and walked through the door without knocking.

"I'm here," I called.

"It's oveh here!" he shrieked.

I followed his voice into the kitchen, and found a jar of pickles in his fridge.

"If you're allergic, why are these in your fridge?" I asked him.

"I don' remembah. Maybe accident?'

I smacked my head against my forehead. This guy is dumber than I thought he was.

I grabbed the jar and tossed it into the nearby garbage can. He sighed in relief once he heard the jar give a loud _thud_ as it hit the bottom of the weirdly empty can.

"Okay, now that that's over, I'm headed back home." I said as I head towards the door.

2D grabbed my wrist. "No, please, stay a little longer."

"Need me to babyproof the house for you more?"

"No," 2D said, "I just want to hang out."

I can't believe he thinks the night is a good time to hang.

I obliged, anyway.

He lead me to the couch. After he sat down, he patted the seat next to him like a little boy.

After I sat, I asked, "what's up?"

"Well, I miss my friends, and I'm not sure what to do without friends nearby all the time."

"I'd start with not calling them in the middle of the night."

2D blushed. "I woke yew?"

I looked down at my Winnie the Pooh pajamas. He's so thick, he doesn't even notice what I'm wearing!

"Yeah...kinda..."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll try to call later next time."

I nodded.

More awkward silence.

"The doctor said I have an anxiety disorder."

I turned to him. "Why are you telling me this?"

He replied with, "they told me to tell someone I trust."

I didn't know how to feel about this. Sure, I've known him for a few months now, but why would he trust someone like me? Why couldn't he tell his parents, or one of his band friends?

"I think the doctor meant family?"

"I don't have family in America."

"So what are you going to...do about this?"

2D turned to me. "I thought we could work together."

"Uh..."

"I told the doctor all about you when I visited because you're the only person I've talked to recently...except for the doc."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He looked me in the eyes, a dead serious look in his face.

"Yew've got it, too."

"Okay, I'm going back home now." I said, standing up.

"But L, don't yew want it cured, too?"

"Of course I'd want something I have cured," I replied, "but I'd also rather get a diagnosis from a REAL doctor."

2D looked a little heartbroken. Maybe I was too strong with my comeback.

I sat down again. "Look, if it'll make you feel better, I'll do a little research. I'll find at-home remedies you can do to feel better."

"You'll do 'em, too?"

I thought for a moment. Maybe if I humored him by participating, he'll lighten up, and maybe stop telling me where he lived.

"Sure, why not?"

2D smiled his toothy smile. Then, without warning, he sprung up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said, trying to push him away. "What was that for?"

"Yew...don't like hugs?"

"Well, not really." I replied, "it looked like you tried to attack me."

2D frowned again. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare yew. I was just...happy."

"I understand." I thought for a moment, then held out my fist.

2D ducked. "IMSORRYIMSORRY!"

"Dude," I said.

"DONTHITMEPWEASE!"

"Hit you? Why would I do that?"

"I got yew angry, and yew held out a fist!"

I laughed. "No, 2D. I was going to offer you a fist bump!"

2D stopped cowering, and studied my hand.

I then opened my fist, and held it up instead. "Compromise. We'll high-five when we're happy. Okay?"

He straightened up, then accepted the high-five.

Man, his hand was really weak.

"Okay, now I REALLY have to go back to bed so I don't collapse at work," I told him.

"Okay, L. Call me when you're awake?"

"Sure."

The bike home wasn't as challenging as it was on the way to his house. Maybe because I'm more awake now. But I need the extra five hours of shut-eye.

I fell onto my bed, processing everything that happened. I'm basically going through therapy with 2D, now.

And it all started with a jar of pickles, of all things!


End file.
